Sunday, January 2, 2011
when i was a young, angsty teen i thought the new year was so silly. i think i enjoyed being contrary more than, say, actually believing in anything, so i had this thing about time being arbitrary and how celebrating the changing of the year was a stupid pastime. i'm glad that phase is over and done, because i really do enjoy the tradition of getting excited about a new year. i like having new year's resolutions (even the ones i don't keep) and i enjoy the feeling of starting afresh with new hope and a new outlook.
looking back, 2010 has been so, so good to me. i'm grateful for all my wonderful friends, both virtual and real-life, new and old, my family, my lovely and comfortable home, my amazing husband (that still tickles me to write), and all the small, beautiful experiences that dotted my everyday life. heck, i got married! that alone makes 2010 100% awesomeness. and last year we started the tradition of having a family motto. this past year's was "don't be a slave to comfort," something i took quite seriously and, i do believe, really changed my outlook in a number of situations (even though i never got around to embroidering it on a pillow). for me that meant physical comfort (i.e. stop complaining and suck it up, you ninny) but also my own psychological comfort, as in, trying new things and going outside my comfort zone with new experiences. it's true, i can tend to be a slave to comfort and like things just as they are. but i think i've made some small, gentle strides in changing that.
this year's motto, in a similar vein, is "don't be scared." it started out as somewhat of an inside joke between me and c, but one that took on some extra meaning and now seems entirely appropriate for the new year. and one i still hope to embroider on a pillow.
you see, we are going to have a baby in june and, i'm going to admit it right away, this kind of frightens me. of course, i'm terribly excited and ready for this new adventure, but i don't think i'd be human if there wasn't a small amount of terror mixed in with that excitement, right? already thing are changing, what with feeling a constant low-grade queasiness (c's new nickname for me is queasy... i'm like the eighth dwarf) and insane fatigue. can i use that as an excuse for not really being present here much the last couple of months? i hope so, because i'd like to milk it for all it's worth! i mean, there's not much to write about when you're spending any time not working just lying around on the couch watching bad tv and moaning about how queasy you feel. (though, admittedly, i totally missed the opportunity to do posts called "you know what i love... my couch" or "you know what i love... [insert name of reality tv show here]".) seriously, i haven't even finished a real book since november! and that, for me, indicates that things were kind of crazy.
so this year will be a year of new beginnings in every sense of the word. i already feel like i'm coming out of my fog, i have a renewed passion for sewing and the energy to do something about it, and i feel so optimistic about everything that is to come. in addition to my motto, my only real resolution* is to be the best mother i can possibly be and focus on that, both before and after this baby comes.
(*oh, okay, and also post here an awful lot, sew and quilt as much as possible, read my 52 books before this darn baby comes, put learning to embroider back on my list of things to learn this year, since i never learned it last year, and be happy, hearty and healthy!)
all photos are from today's sunny (and chilly!) walk around the center for urban horticulture, one of my favorite places in seattle. highly recommended as a place go for a stroll with your sweetie and reflect on the new year.
Posted by arajane at 5:14 PM