Sunday, January 2, 2011

... new beginnings

winter walk

when i was a young, angsty teen i thought the new year was so silly. i think i enjoyed being contrary more than, say, actually believing in anything, so i had this thing about time being arbitrary and how celebrating the changing of the year was a stupid pastime. i'm glad that phase is over and done, because i really do enjoy the tradition of getting excited about a new year. i like having new year's resolutions (even the ones i don't keep) and i enjoy the feeling of starting afresh with new hope and a new outlook.

winter walk

looking back, 2010 has been so, so good to me. i'm grateful for all my wonderful friends, both virtual and real-life, new and old, my family, my lovely and comfortable home, my amazing husband (that still tickles me to write), and all the small, beautiful experiences that dotted my everyday life. heck, i got married! that alone makes 2010 100% awesomeness. and last year we started the tradition of having a family motto. this past year's was "don't be a slave to comfort," something i took quite seriously and, i do believe, really changed my outlook in a number of situations (even though i never got around to embroidering it on a pillow). for me that meant physical comfort (i.e. stop complaining and suck it up, you ninny) but also my own psychological comfort, as in, trying new things and going outside my comfort zone with new experiences. it's true, i can tend to be a slave to comfort and like things just as they are. but i think i've made some small, gentle strides in changing that.

winter walk

this year's motto, in a similar vein, is "don't be scared." it started out as somewhat of an inside joke between me and c, but one that took on some extra meaning and now seems entirely appropriate for the new year. and one i still hope to embroider on a pillow.

you see, we are going to have a baby in june and, i'm going to admit it right away, this kind of frightens me. of course, i'm terribly excited and ready for this new adventure, but i don't think i'd be human if there wasn't a small amount of terror mixed in with that excitement, right? already thing are changing, what with feeling a constant low-grade queasiness (c's new nickname for me is queasy... i'm like the eighth dwarf) and insane fatigue. can i use that as an excuse for not really being present here much the last couple of months? i hope so, because i'd like to milk it for all it's worth! i mean, there's not much to write about when you're spending any time not working just lying around on the couch watching bad tv and moaning about how queasy you feel. (though, admittedly, i totally missed the opportunity to do posts called "you know what i love... my couch" or "you know what i love... [insert name of reality tv show here]".) seriously, i haven't even finished a real book since november! and that, for me, indicates that things were kind of crazy.

winter walk

so this year will be a year of new beginnings in every sense of the word. i already feel like i'm coming out of my fog, i have a renewed passion for sewing and the energy to do something about it, and i feel so optimistic about everything that is to come. in addition to my motto, my only real resolution* is to be the best mother i can possibly be and focus on that, both before and after this baby comes.

(*oh, okay, and also post here an awful lot, sew and quilt as much as possible, read my 52 books before this darn baby comes, put learning to embroider back on my list of things to learn this year, since i never learned it last year, and be happy, hearty and healthy!)

winter walk

all photos are from today's sunny (and chilly!) walk around the center for urban horticulture, one of my favorite places in seattle. highly recommended as a place go for a stroll with your sweetie and reflect on the new year.

14 comments:

  1. Wonderful news! I think a bit of terror is definitely human, as being in charge of a tiny person is such an awe-inspiring responsibility. I kind of wish I'd felt a bit more of it beforehand myself, to be honest...I didn't understand how big a change would unfold and was a little bit blindsided. You're lucky (wise?) to go in with your eyes as wide open as possible.

    However...the uncertainty and doubt will be so very much overwhelmed by the joy that your baby will bring, both in the early months, and (four!) years later and beyond.

    I'm feeling a bit of (new) terror as I ponder motherhood x 2...I'm due in May, and so can give you some hope that your quease and fatigue should pass soon. And I definitely understand the blog absence...mine was sorely neglected during that first rough period.

    Congratulations!

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  2. Congratulations!!! Being a mom is SO much fun, more fun than I ever imagined. I was queasy for 16 solid weeks, then it stopped and I felt and looked amazing - baby bumps are super cute!!! Please keep blogging and post as many baby bump pictures as you feel comfortable with - pregnant mamas are awesome! Again, congratulations!!!

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  3. Congratulations! Yes its Ok to be scared/anxious. I know I definitely was. Acknowledge it and embrace it. I reckon thats a lot better than suppressing it.

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  4. Huge congratulations! We'll be a couple of months ahead of you with our second, and it seems like half the blogging world is expecting at the moment. looking forward to seeing your baby projects :)

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  5. Congratulations! I just gave birth to my third child (well eight months ago...gasp), and all of the queasiness is worth it. I was nauseous the entire nine months with both of my girls. I am often a fearful person as well, so I can definitely relate to your post. Being less fearful is one of my resolutions as well. I enjoy reading your blog. Happy New Year!

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  6. Oh my goodness, how exciting! Congrats!

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  7. Again I say hooray for marriage and baby! All of the other babies are going to be so jealous of the amazing quilts your baby is going to have.

    My experience was that there is tons of time for reading the first three months or so after the baby is born, because you're nursing about 60 hours a week. (Peope will tell you that you should be gazing into your baby's eyes this entire time, to which I respond: Seriously? For 60 hours?)

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  8. Congratulations! That is such exciting news. I was terrified, literally terrified when I had my first baby almost two years ago. And honestly - you should be scared right? That just shows you care and that you are taking the whole thing seriously. It is a big deal, so it should feel like one. But, now that we are a year and a half in, I can't even remember what I was so worried about. You'll do great :)

    We actually stopped worrying too much a while back I guess, because baby II is due in March :)

    Can't wait to see what you sew for the babe!

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  9. Looks like a lovely walk.

    YAY for babies!!! They really are the very best of the best. Parenting is the hardest and sweetest work you'll ever do. If you're interested in the natural, healthy, keep-it-simple and real approach, I could talk your ear off with book recommendations (hint: I had my babies at home - sooooooo special). Whatever you do, just enjoy it!

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  10. Congrats on the big news! You are in for a special year, that's for sure.

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  11. oh my goodness, i just saw this post now so am a bit late on the congrats. but congratulations!!!! i hope you'll indulge your virtual/far-away friends with some photos of the little one when the time comes. :)

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  12. holy smokes, i didn't see that coming! congratulations on the baby front (it seems you are in some good company down there in seattle). glad 2010 was such an awesome year! here's to 2011!

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  13. Congratulations to you and C! SO excited for you, what a lucky baby! So happy for you about your wedding too - just catching up on blogland and it sounds like your whole New York trip was a dream. Wow. Yo La Tengo and a shiny new husband- i'd call that a good trip.
    Wow. Wow! What exciting days these are for you- and I think a whole lot of fear and apprehension is quite natural when it comes to the unknown, you're going to have a baby, yikes! Enjoy the new beginnings and hold onto the optimism and the motto.
    (And these photos are beautiful- *beautiful*!!)

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