Sunday, July 31, 2011
last week (or maybe the week before… who knows, right?) katie came by for a visit bearing gifts and food, two things most welcome in this household. she presented little ingrid with a quilt made by the ladies of the seattle modern quilt guild. isn't it the prettiest?
i especially love the embroidery (thank you, melissa!) which makes this quilt that much more special. and see how much ingrid likes it?
i'm so looking forward to seeing all my quilt guild ladies at a sew-in soon so i can thank you all in person!
Friday, July 29, 2011
i am so deeply touched by all of you who left such kinds comments on my last post. really, it meant so much to me to read your words of encouragement and commiseration. things are getting better here, constantly changing, old difficulties are replaced by new ones, but also a with growing baby who is now cooing and, to my eyes, appears to be smiling at times. life is still crazy, but also just crazy good. even through the fatigue and insanity i wouldn't ask for anything else right now.
in other, non-baby news, i had a birthday last sunday (yay for july babies!), which was celebrated with a delightful breakfast wherein i actually made scones, some lovely flowers from my lovely man, and dinner at the home of our friends, j and t, who most thoughtfully got me an insanely delicious s'mores cake and berry pie from the dahlia bakery to celebrate.
and in even further non-baby news, i also squeezed in some time to sew my block for this month's do. good stitches bee. rachel asked for one larger block with appliquéd bubbles in a deep sea pallet. i'm not usually big on appliqué, but i do love this block and can't wait to see the finished quilt!
i've also been plugging away on alicia paulson's daisychain abc crewel sampler. i finished the a and the b the day before i went into labor, and since then i've done the c and half of the d. yes, it's slow going around here, as having two hands free at one time is a rarity.
but this slowness just means i have more time to appreciate the little things.
Posted by arajane at 10:26 PM
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
oh wow. introducing my new life. ingrid was born on the fourth of july at 8:04 am to lots of emotional fireworks and celebration. to say that she is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen is an understatement. and she was a very big baby indeed! 9 pounds 8 ounces and 22 inches long. yowza!
everything i've ever heard any new parent say about the first week with their newborn is entirely true. it's a whirlwind, a dizzying spell of delight and despair, a fever dream, a roller coaster of emotions. it's hours of quiet stillness with feelings of the most amazing heart-filling love followed by thoughts of "oh my goodness, i am going to kill this fragile little creature if i make the slightest wrong move" followed by deep, deep feelings of inadequacy. and then the cycle starts all over again.
the most true thing i am finding is that it's hard to not get caught up in whatever thing i am feeling at the moment, and then start thinking that that's how it's going to be forever. when she cries i think, "oh no! she is going to cry forever and i can't do anything about it!" and when she is quietly snuggled up in my arms, her wide eyes staring up at me and her adorable little mouth making my most favorite little faces i think, "i could do this forever! i am super mom!"
i know, everyone tells me that it's all just a phase, and i need to start repeating that to myself like a mantra.
of course, all of this is heightened by the fact that i am simply not sleeping. and i don't mean that i'm bummed that i'm not getting my usual 8 hours a night. i mean that half the nights so far have found me up all night and getting zero sleep at all. i do not recommend this. yesterday, after not napping all the previous day and not sleeping all night, i will be honest, i spent most of the day in tears. like, inconsolable sobbing. my poor husband had to deal with two crying ladies all day. he is a super champ, taking care of the both of us. but this morning, after a night where i got to sleep for a cumulative three to four hours, i'm feeling great. cue the rocky theme music, and imagine me running to the stop of the stairs at the philadelphia museum of art pumping my fists in the air.
and then imagine little ingrid as burgess meredith, who played rocky's coach, which is exactly who she looks like in this little cap. and that tickles me to no end. see, she's even pumping her fists for me!
some things i've learned over my nine whopping days of motherhood:
- poo-splosions happen. learn to deal with it.
- do not get overzealous in making plans. accept the fact that just getting one thing done in a day is enough, even if that one thing is simply feeding and caring for your baby. the other day, in a fit of energy and optimism, i declared i wanted to accomplish three things: do some shopping, prepare and wash the cloth diapers, and take our weekly photo (a most wonderful idea stolen shamelessly from here). our shopping trip ended in a poo-tastrophe (see above), our weekly photo was essentially five shots of a crying baby, and i abandoned the diaper washing in lieu of a nap. oh well.
- sleep is good. but if one more person tells me to sleep when the baby sleeps i will knock their block off. seriously.
- accepting help from friends and family without feeling guilty is super important. i would not be coping nearly so well without the tireless help of my mom, who came to stay with us last weekend, and spent so many hours fixing us delicious and nutritious meals, taking the baby in the early morning hours so i could get a couple more hours of sleep, calling throughout the week to make sure we're doing alright, and giving me pep talks to help me through the tougher days. i am also insanely grateful to our friends and neighbors who have brought us food, dropped off treats, stopped in for visits, or have signed up to bring us meals in the future. such generosity is amazing.
- it is important to stop and appreciate the small things, like taking a short walk down the street to get some air, laughing with c over something silly, taking time to smell the calycanthus that is currently blooming in the front garden, or enjoying a few moments of quiet in a hot shower. i am also appreciating the fact that i can now sleep on my belly again, that my terrible acid reflux is now gone gone gone (!!!), and my painful swollen cankles are slowly turning back into ankles.
- don't compare yourself to others. one of the things i've had time to do is keep up on blogs, since i can use my laptop one-handed whist nursing ingrid, and i found i was getting discouraged by what others seem to accomplish. even those with very young children. i need to remind myself that i am my own person doing my level best and what anyone else is able to do is completely irrelevant.
- we are going at our own pace in this household. and that pace is dictated by a little someone who is the most important thing right now.
- i chose the right man to marry and have babies with. c has been the most amazing partner for the past 10 years and is now an even more amazing father. i am the luckiest girl in the world.
holy wow, i did not intend to be this loquacious. for any of you who have bothered to read all the way down here, i would love to hear your stories of life post childbirth. were there things that you struggled with? lessons you learned the hard way? days spent in tears? perhaps it's that misery loves company, but i'm finding it heartening to hear about other parents' difficulties in these first weeks and knowing i'm not alone. so please share your stories with me if you're so inclined! it would certainly make this tired mama feel like she's in good company.
Posted by arajane at 11:41 AM
Friday, July 1, 2011
one of the good things about waiting around for a baby to be born is that you can keep working on the nursery. it's not like this room has to be 100% perfect for her arrival. i mean, what does the baby care, right? all she needs is a place to sleep, some diapers, some food (supplied by me), and she's all set.
so the need to have a lovely and complete nursery is really more for us parents. it gives us something to focus on to make this weird abstract concept of bringing a new life into the world a reality.
things aren't completely finished in here. we're still waiting on some artwork to be framed, which will liven up the walls a bit. and i'm still working on a quilt, which i'm ashamed to say i still haven't basted (because, honestly, the thought of basting a quilt right now is so not appealing). but i love it in here. this really is the best room in our house, especially with the warm summer evening light coming in and the trees in full leaf right outside the windows.
this week i made some more little fabric boxes (which i've made previously for scrap baskets), using and slightly modifying the sometimes crafter's excellent tutorial.
i used a couple for diapering supplies, and one to store some little toys and rattles that have been lying around.
i am in love with this sheep mobile that is hanging over the changing station/dresser.
and equally in love with this hedgehog clock by the door.
but my favorite spot is the rocking chair in the corner with the pillow i made a few months back. i like to just sit here and relax and think forward a few weeks to when we will have an actual baby in here.
soon. very soon.